How to Become a Jedi Part 2: Your First Mission

I should have mentioned the Jedi ranks in part one. For a trainee you start at the rank nobody. You can work your way to Jedi-ish, then Jedi-like, then Jedi trainee, then Almost-Jedi. If you can even make it to Almost-Jedi, I'll tell you the rest of the ranks.

It's time to finish your training lightsaber. Cut the crystal into five equal and symmetrical parts. If they aren't exactly alike, they will release a toxic gas that will melt away everything in it's path for 65 miles in exactly 1.5 nanoseconds. Carefully place the crystals in the lightsaber. They are very delicate at this point so don't stuff it in or the lightsaber will explode. Don't place it in to gently or else, KABOOM!! Just place them in one by one and try not to make them explode. Do NOT open the Adamantium to put the crystals in the lightsaber. The oxygen will be sucked out of the world by the lightsaber and no one in the world will be able to breath. Place the color crystal in next. If you successfully place the crystals in the lightsaber, there will be a screeching sound for a few moments, then a flash. Congratulations! You built a training lightsaber.

Your first training mission after assembling a lightsaber, would be to climb to the top of Mount Everest and search for a bear. Most people don't know this, but bears are masters of the force. They can use the force to lift a two ton piece of cement on the other side of the world 1000000 yards in any direction. The bad thing about bears is, they can't use a lightsaber. Their bear hands are too oddly shaped. If you can sense a bear on Mount Everest, go to it and challenge it to a duel. Do this by going up to it, drawing your lightsaber and swinging for it's head. It should attack you. Your job is to use your training lightsaber to knock it out and bring it to where ever you work at without causing suspicion. If you can do that before the bear wakes up, you have achieved the rank of Jedi-ish. Now get rid of the bear before it wakes up and kills you.

The Force Unleashed for the PSP

Must have for Star Wars fans: Star Wars the Force Unleashed. After playing my brother's PSP version, I've decided that in my opinion, the Force Unleashed is the best Star Wars game I've ever played. The storyline is amazing, explaining the creation of the Rebels in an unexpected way. The main characters are very extraordinary. The game play is pretty awesome too.

For a handheld system, the Play Station Portable is pretty amazing. It gives graphics and features you can't find in the DS. So when I heard my brother got the Force Unleashed for the PSP, I expected it to be a good game. I didn't expect it to be this great. The controls are easy to learn, using only four buttons for loads of moves. The features are great, within the story mode, and in Force Unleashed mode. In story mode , you'll be spending hours searching for lightsaber upgrades and Holocrons. It's a pretty addictive search and the lightsaber customization will let you set those upgrades to your taste. As well as lightsaber customization, you can put on costumes, enter cheats, and view Holocrons.

In the Force Unleashed mode, you can play some awesome games. The games include Order 66, Force Duels, and Historic Mission. In Order 66, you can pick a Jedi and battle through the imperial army, defending against the traitorous clones. Force Duel is basically a duel between Jedi. Historic Mission is my personal favorite Force Unleashed game. You play as a Jedi fighting through legendary scenes such as the Dune Sea battle in Episode VI, the Battle of Mustafar in Episode III, and countless other battles.

This is just my opinion, try the game if you want to really see how it is.

P.S.: for owners of the game, here are some cheats:
Eclipse: play as Juno
Hologram: play as PROXY
Speeder, Virgence, and Tyranus: force cheats

How to Become a Jedi Part 1: The Lightsaber

After listening to the Ninja Handbook audio book, I thought of trying something like it. Here it is:


Considering I have nothing else to write about, I'll tell you how to become a Jedi. Before I start though, I need to stress something. Like the Ninja Handbook, these posts will kill you. If you value your life, walk away now. Still here? If you're planing on reading on, please acknowledge I'm not responsible for any injuries you may receive by following things said on these posts. Let's begin.

To start, you'll need a Training Lightsaber. Unlike the actual Lightsaber, this can't kill (only sting) and is rather easy to make. First, you'll need to find materials needed for a hilt. The materials needed would be some Adamantium (like Wolverine has), a colored Crystal, a Kaiber Crystal, and car battery.

Next, (note that this will be your first real Jedi test) take the Adamantium and form it into a cylinder shape without using heat, or else the Lightsaber won't work and you'll just have a metal stick. Make the inside look like the diagram above. It doesn't have to be exactly like it, because you're only making a Training Lightsaber, and you can only use the Adamantium.

Third, find a space shuttle the owner is willing to let you borrow. You'll need to use this shuttle to fly to any planet with a Crystal Cave. This is just a cave with hundreds of little crystals flying around everywhere. Find a Kaiber Crystal. When you try to take it, it's pretty likely some beast defending it will attack you. If you attempt to kill it, you are crazy! Don't even think about continuing with this post, or any following, because you will die! If you run away from it screaming, you will die. If you're not even there to fight it because you already stole the crystal and returned to earth before the beast realized you were gone, you are ready for the next post. I'm just not ready to write it.