How to Become a Jedi Part 1: The Lightsaber

After listening to the Ninja Handbook audio book, I thought of trying something like it. Here it is:


Considering I have nothing else to write about, I'll tell you how to become a Jedi. Before I start though, I need to stress something. Like the Ninja Handbook, these posts will kill you. If you value your life, walk away now. Still here? If you're planing on reading on, please acknowledge I'm not responsible for any injuries you may receive by following things said on these posts. Let's begin.

To start, you'll need a Training Lightsaber. Unlike the actual Lightsaber, this can't kill (only sting) and is rather easy to make. First, you'll need to find materials needed for a hilt. The materials needed would be some Adamantium (like Wolverine has), a colored Crystal, a Kaiber Crystal, and car battery.

Next, (note that this will be your first real Jedi test) take the Adamantium and form it into a cylinder shape without using heat, or else the Lightsaber won't work and you'll just have a metal stick. Make the inside look like the diagram above. It doesn't have to be exactly like it, because you're only making a Training Lightsaber, and you can only use the Adamantium.

Third, find a space shuttle the owner is willing to let you borrow. You'll need to use this shuttle to fly to any planet with a Crystal Cave. This is just a cave with hundreds of little crystals flying around everywhere. Find a Kaiber Crystal. When you try to take it, it's pretty likely some beast defending it will attack you. If you attempt to kill it, you are crazy! Don't even think about continuing with this post, or any following, because you will die! If you run away from it screaming, you will die. If you're not even there to fight it because you already stole the crystal and returned to earth before the beast realized you were gone, you are ready for the next post. I'm just not ready to write it.